Kidless Week...

Man i gave my right arm for this...

I really didn't know what I was going to do with myself this week. My X-In-Laws took all three of my babies to TN with them for a week. They fo this about every two or three months. I love it cause I get the much needed rest I so richly deserve and they get to see all there cousins and spend great quality influence time with Grams and Gramps. Yes thats right, by the time they get back I will have to calm them back down to their routine.

So what to do with myself. Man there is tons of stuff I should be doing... But I'm opting for fun. Going shopping, watching movies, dinner with friends, and of course getting crazy drunk a few.

I hung out with a roadie on Monday evening until the wee hours. I couldn't believe the stories, its like I had a live-to-Talula "Behind the Music". It was sooo cool. We laughed, drank, ate pretzels... lets just say I'm glad I had my bodygaurd with me ;). Ty McHenryDude, loves ya Babe.

Sometimes it feels like I am at least 3 different women. Mom by day....party girl by night. For some reason its like someone flips the on switch inside me at aroung 6 O'clock. I think it comes from the many many years I worked on second shift.

Take a Walk

As I walk through the snow,
I glance at the path behind me.
Ahead lays the fresh white pillow
waiting for my impression.

Each mark is my own.
The depth, width and stride
determined by the
emotional and physical gravity
I lay to it.

I step forward
pressing tenderly.
Soft while fluff
puffs around my shoe.

Pressing deeper
into the gentle blanket.
Hearing the crunch
beneath me.

Falling to my knees,
weeping.
Every spark inside
relit.

Stocking Stuffer

Ok ty Contagion for this one... its too cute...

Your Christmas Stocking Will Be Filled With a Puppy

Well - one cute, soft, cuddly puppy... And a very soiled Christmas stocking.

What will you get from the Santa?

Top 5 Xmas Movies...

5. The Snowman. It just reminds me of being 10, sitting in the auditorium of our school on a winter day packed with the whole school, shyly smiling at Tommy W. while giggling with my girlfriends.

4. A Christmas Story. As a child I hated this movie. I thought it trivialized the role children played in the holidays and made them seem stupid. I hated the fact that he poked his eye out. As an adult I began to appreciate the cultural satire the movie brought to a very wide audience.

3. Charlie Brown Christmas. Because I love the cleverness of the Snoopy. Because everytime I hear that piano it reminds me of evergreens.

2. Elf. I love it because its a new movie that is so simple and pure. The more recent holiday movies have all strayed from simple themes and have gotten so diluted and complex. Buddy the human elf is like an adult child. I often wish for at least one day all the adults in the world could remember what it was like to be an awe inspired child as they caught fresh snow on their tongue. The wonder and magic of childhood should always be in our hearts.

1. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Oh my goodness. I have such a love for this movie. The snowman narrator Burl Ives, the abomidable snowman, and the elf who wants to be a dentist. A true Christmas classic. The songs warm my heart and the island of misfit toys... I wanted to live there. Has to be my no. 1 and my children's' now as well.

Have the most wonderful holidays ever, may this year be filled with love and simplicity.

Walka Walka...

My life has changed dramatically in the last few weeks.

I am now a divorced woman with three children. Its funny, I thought this would scare the crapola out of me but quite the opposite. I feel stronger and more loved than ever. I have become so close to my children its unbelievable. I love this independent me. Not that I wasn't before, but being in a relationship that wasn't working really took a toll on me. My body and mind were hurting so much. I would never wish divorce on my worst enemy. But its over for now and one hurdle is down in that road.

Then three days later of course, I lost my job. Possibly the best thing that could have happened. I have soooo much more time with my kids and self. I can completely focus on my goals now. I was so far off my path with that job. I knew it, but I couldn't see a way out. Its funny how everything becomes so clear when you step out of the fog.

Five days later, I had surgery. Although I do not know the final results of the biopsy, it looks like the growth I had in my side was some type of scar tissue. I will find out for sure on Thursday. Needless to say I was off pain killers in two days and started walking and standing for periods the next day. It will be a week tomorrow and I feel great. I have no pain and the incision is healing well.

Oh yeah, did I mention I'm selling my home? No biggie really anymore. I am used to the idea and am looking forward to a fresh new start. But no bites yet. **Fingers crossed**

My Froggy is doing soo much better too. The doctors at UIC are amazing. There are just so few doctors that really specialize in children like Froggy.

I wanted to share with all of you. Because my family and I are doing so well, I never thought last year at this time we would be this healthy, strong and happy.

Thank you so much to all my family and friends who have been there for me. I love and appreciate each and every one of you.

Holiday Mantra

Ok its been a while, I do apologize!!

Say in a singing voice in your head:

"Jingle Bells, Batman Smells, Robin laid an egg.... Batmobile lost its wheel and the Joker got away HEY!"

***Note: Be VERY careful not to shout "HEY!" outloud. This may be alarming to others within earshot.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE !!!!!!!!

TV

I noticed something about myself recently and I wanted to share. Over the summer I didn't have TV. I listened to the radio and got my news off the internet. I hadn't noticed until now how it really affected me. I knew I had more time and all that, but what I didn't realize is my creativity spiked. At first I chalked it up the ebbs and flows of life. Now, I am beginning to see things a little differently.

I've had TV now for around 4 months or so. During that time I started this blog and really began writing again. As the weather turned cold, I found myself indoors more and more. It seems like my creativity stems from the beauty of nature in all its forms.
So I theorized that my blockage was caused from the lack of outside time. But then again, I don't think so. IT seems when I don't watch any form of electronic media, including mindless surfing, my creativity spikes. I think it shuts down the creative centers in my brain for some reason. Possibly it just preoccupies them. Mind numbing madness I suppose. Have I mentioned, I have way too much time on my hands :)?

5 weird Habits

I was tagged by Sticks, so here it goes...

5. Dancing dishes doer. Yep, I shake my rump soapin the glassware.

4. Obsessive tongue chewer. When I concentrate on something i chew on my tongue. I 've done it since I was a kid and I don't even know why.

3. Bad movie lover. When I go through a rough time, nothing cheers me up like a really stupid movie.

2. Procrastinator extraordinaire. I try as hard as I can not to. Its me though, I always want everything to be perfect, so I put things off until I can make them that way. It never stops me from doing things, just makes me rushed a lot.

1. Extreme Love Shower. I smother my kids contantly with affection and compliments. This is my favorite habit. As soon as I pick them up from school, they get a hug, kiss, a big smile, and a "how is your day going, baby?". My mom thinks I spoil them, but I love it so its not changing, hehe.

So there they are just Five Habits of a very odd girl. Tammi was right, its very hard to narrow it down to 5.

Shell

Surface
Artificial Wound
Heal Quickly

Strong mind
and stronger heart
Hold your head high

There will be a
place for you
beneath the shimmering
of the moon

I hold it open
and let you in
welcomed
beloved

Get LAID... off

OK I hate posting when I'm emotional, but here it is and consider yourself warned.

I just got "laid off" today. My position was eliminated. In reality they wanted to get rid of me. I guess I can't blame them. I didn't fit their culture and I couldn't play by their rules. But now I'm scared. I am a single mother of 3 children who is now unemployed.

Ok enough with that, back on my feet. Time to hit the ground running and all. Their must be a position for a brilliant poet who speaks her mind, right? Just kidding, I can pretend to be polite, really i can. Don't worry about me folks, this is the first time I've ever been let go and it probobly wont be the last. I have a strong shell, i just have to build up the weak spots.

Hehe

Ok got a little mushy on ya with this one. I thought it fitting since my site was so aptly renamed by my mama.

LOVE STAINS

Savory eyes
your movement
to my motion
longing
gazing
gentle brush
lips shyly touch
calming tingle
fingers through hair
i long for you
and your magic stare

come to me now
find me here
all alone
welcoming arms
peaceful words
filling your heart
with what you deserve