A Little of the Unexpected

Today we have a birthday party. The kids are getting ready to go to the nieghbor's 6th birthday bowling party. The little girl next door is my fourth child. I have a strong bond with her. She doesn't see her mom very often. Her mother is very distant from her emotionally. Her Aunt, Grandama and I are the models for her.

I was 21 when I had my son. He was very unexpected but very much wanted. My children are the focal point of my life. It is so hard for me to imagine a mother who does not feel this incredible bond with her child. I want to grab her and shake her. Why can't you realize how wonderful a gift she is? Do you even care that she wants to be you? The pain I see in her eyes is almost unbearable.

I am not angry with her mother, i am sad. I am receiving all the joys from her daughter she is missing out on. I feel very guilty. Trying to handle my own family and love her is a challenge most days. She doesn't have very many rules to follow and does not understand consequences at all. So I treat her like my own... I discipline her, love her and kiss her boo-boos. She is an amazing 6 yr old, but she will be lost one day and there is nothing I can do.