Man I am hurting today... I swear there should have been a Mommy Manual... so here is an except from mine....
Chapter 1 : MOM IS RESPONSIBLE FOR.....
A. Breast feeding unitl your nipples are soo sore you want an ice machine in your bra.
B. Being shaken in the middle of the night by older child.."Mom, mom, mommy.... brother hurled all over the room, down the stairs, and into the bathroom come quick!"
C. Having a spare spot in the bed for... accidents, thunderstorms, nightmares and the extra love that only comes from Mommy's arms in the middle of the night.
D. Referee - fights, games, crayon splitting, desert sharing, car rides.... pretty much everything.
E. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO PANIC EVER!!!!---- When your son comes into your room the first thing in the morning with blood running down his face and neck do not say "OMG look at all the blood." (Trust me not the right reponse.) Instead remain calm, even though you can see your son's skull through the gash on the top of his head, because this will not be an isolated incident. The emergency room will become your "Cheers", thats right EVERYONE will know your name.
D. Barbie heads, lipstick, robots, money, fruit snacks, banana peels and dried worms, finding all the things children put in their pockets BEFORE you wash their clothes.
These are a few of mine that I have learned so far. There is more but alas... i have no more energy left to type. Happy Saturday Mommies everywhere!